Religion and Values

    Religion has always been a complicated topic to me as I grew up going to church every Sunday, but never really felt anything while there. I used to spend the time at church doodling on scrap paper and thinking about random things because the messages being told didn't really make sense to me. While some were just topics I didn't understand like don't cheat on your partner or betraying your family, others I understood, but they just did make sense. As I got older I had more chances to get into religion, but when I tried it just felt wrong. I took a confirmation class and right before it ended and we were "official members of the church" they said that if we had any doubts we shouldn't do it. I had doubts but felt so much pressure to go through with it that I did and during the welcoming ceremony I felt guilty and bad. After that point I decided that it just wasn't for me because I just really didn't agree with some of the messages from the church (During that class we were told that to be good christens we needed to bring more people to the church and donate whenever we could. I didn't like the idea of bringing more people in because they might not want to and you shouldn't force this kind of stuff onto them). I also had a hard time believing in a god who "has a plan for you" and then makes shitty stuff happen. I would hear stories of people who never really had any good things in their life and thought "What did they do deserve all this negativity in life". This kind of bothered me when my mom was going through cancer and people would say they would pray for us. I know its just a kind "thinking of you" gesture, but to me this was meaningless because praying won't change science and nature. 

    

    As of now I don't think that there is an almighty creator or god that watches over us, but I still hope that there is a happy afterlife. I always imagined it as a place where you can relive your memories with loved ones and find cool statics about your life like how many times you ate your favorite meal or who secretly had a crush on you in middle school. I try to live my life by just being a good person and treating other how I would want to be treated or respecting their wishes as long as it doesn't make me do something I don't want to do. We shouldn't need an onlooker judging our actions to be nice, we should do it because it makes life just a little bit nicer for you and others.