Religion and Values

    Religion has always been a complicated topic to me as I grew up going to church every Sunday, but never really felt anything while there. I used to spend the time at church doodling on scrap paper and thinking about random things because the messages being told didn't really make sense to me. While some were just topics I didn't understand like don't cheat on your partner or betraying your family, others I understood, but they just did make sense. As I got older I had more chances to get into religion, but when I tried it just felt wrong. I took a confirmation class and right before it ended and we were "official members of the church" they said that if we had any doubts we shouldn't do it. I had doubts but felt so much pressure to go through with it that I did and during the welcoming ceremony I felt guilty and bad. After that point I decided that it just wasn't for me because I just really didn't agree with some of the messages from the church (During that class we were told that to be good christens we needed to bring more people to the church and donate whenever we could. I didn't like the idea of bringing more people in because they might not want to and you shouldn't force this kind of stuff onto them). I also had a hard time believing in a god who "has a plan for you" and then makes shitty stuff happen. I would hear stories of people who never really had any good things in their life and thought "What did they do deserve all this negativity in life". This kind of bothered me when my mom was going through cancer and people would say they would pray for us. I know its just a kind "thinking of you" gesture, but to me this was meaningless because praying won't change science and nature. 

    

    As of now I don't think that there is an almighty creator or god that watches over us, but I still hope that there is a happy afterlife. I always imagined it as a place where you can relive your memories with loved ones and find cool statics about your life like how many times you ate your favorite meal or who secretly had a crush on you in middle school. I try to live my life by just being a good person and treating other how I would want to be treated or respecting their wishes as long as it doesn't make me do something I don't want to do. We shouldn't need an onlooker judging our actions to be nice, we should do it because it makes life just a little bit nicer for you and others. 

    

Digital Native

    I am not really sure how I fit into the category of "digital native" as I really an bad with technology. Sure growing up I used it, but if I didn't know how to do something I hadn't done before, I wouldn't be able to do it at all. It took me until I was in middle school to learn how to set up a gaming system that attaches to the tv and even now I call the the HDMI port/cord the HGMI port/cord. On the other hand, while I still struggle with learning new technology, once I get a lesson in how to use it I can do tasks fairly well. At the very least I know how to use different messaging apps, word/ppt, and maybe just a little bit of the adobe suite. 

    My grandpa (who is in his 80's and needs hearing aids) is defiantly not a digital native. He really is trying his best to learn how to use technology, but he doesn't know how to do regular non Facebook messenger messaging and struggles a lot with get his portal to work between him and his sister in Washington. My mom often has to help him with his devices and she comes to me afterward and we have a little laugh about some of his problems like understanding verification texts

More Than a Job

    Man at the moment jobs are so scary to me. I graduate in 3 months which means I need a job as soon as possible. I have tried looking online for jobs, and it has not gone well, it has been a lot of hearing nothing or hearing too soon and researching the company to see that they are kind of shady. The next thing I want to try is getting a job at my mom's company. I like how the company treats their employees which makes me feel really motivated to try and get a job there. Not only that, but the work is to make employee benefit packages which is compiling information on the different benefits that a company offers and putting it into an understandable format for their employees. One of the personal goals for me is helping people. I have always been kind of unsure what exactly I want to do, but the one constant has been to help people or make people happy. My mom is also well liked by the company and she is planning on leaving her current position soon so it might be good if they see copy and paste me to replace her. 

    In a perfect world with no requirements of having a job to live, I would want to spend my time as a housewife. It's very 50's of me to say, but homemaking is what I am good at. Since I was little I have been doing housework so those are the skills I feel the most confident in. I also really enjoy doing things for my boyfriend. He does so much to support me, so when I can cook him a real meal (not a microwaved one) or make sure his work clothes are clean, I feel like I am showing him the same support he shows me.